I'm absolutely in love with the song Only a Mountain by Jason Castro right now. God has been bringing songs into my life over the last few years....and they will reoccur over and over at exactly the right time like a hug during that period of time. As everyone within three miles of me has heard me complain about....I've been training for my first, and coincidentally my very last marathon over the last few months (really, more than the last year, though I didn't know where I was going with it when I began). During the longest of the runs there is always this point where I'm mentally so tired, I'm over it. I want to quit. For real. Quit is not a part of my vocabulary, but I'm running and thinking-I can't. I just....can't do this anymore. I'm tired. I don't have it in me. No more hills. No more steps available in the tank....And then, at that exact time when I'm trying to think of how I'm going to tell the three mile radius of my life I can't do it....this song comes on, and I get that 'second wind' and realize (again) that we all sell ourselves far too short. It's is literally speaking of that running journey for me, but also the bigger picture I've been working on-the mental tank. I won't ever be the fastest. I definitely won't ever run the furthest, but I also would have never said I would want to/be able to run a marathon (still to be determined one week from Sunday, but I am determined) and I'll be able to draw on this in the future when those thoughts start to enter my head. And be that annoying voice to others that doubt something. This'll be playing in my head in a little over a week when I start digging into those hills, and sweating through mile 3....and 23. It's amazing how surmountable those mountains are with a different perspective and a bigger power in my corner. I probably am not physically prepared to really run a marathon, and I'll be that person that people question their decision to run, but I'm not running for those people. So....sharing my hug for anyone who 'just can't' do /insert activity here/ anymore!
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