The Problem With Imaginary Lice...

At school, whenever I hear there is a case of lice (which happens relatively regularly at a school of almost 500)....I discover that I too have a case of lice-it's always been imaginary, but it's very real to me. I make the nurse check my head every time I hear the word b/c just the word 'lice' makes my skin crawl all over, and my scalp itch..itch...itch....and I'm pretty sure it's because the little bugs jumped off the words being said and into my hair. My hair is too long, and too thick for this news not to be the ultimate in drama for me. The nurse can never find any...I make her look...twice. I find every adult over the age of 18, and under the age of 'glasses needed' available to look because I'm sure there is a carnival of creepy crawlies taking root. They can never find them, but I know they are there. The case only last as long as I remember I 'have it.' The problem is, there is no shampoo in the world that takes care of imaginary lice if you can't forget your head itches. I'm just sayin'...sure teachers have the summer off, but we also have really tough things to deal with like imaginary lice-I bet other careers don't suffer from these imaginary, incurable diseases in their office space!