Sunday, February 14, 2010

This Side of Single

In all seriousness....because Serious is my middle name (ask my Mom)-when it comes to this 'love business'...Valentine's doesn't 'really' bother me as a single person (despite my prior post). Nope, it's the other 364 days that get under my skin----kidding....back to seriousness:
I was surfing the net, and reading people's Valetine's post, and feeling grateful that many of my real-(and imaginary) blog friends have found so many people, places, and moments to love today....and all the days that brought them here. I can make a list of lots of things, circumstances, and people I love, but when it comes to that whole 'romantic' love thing-I can only feel very, VeRy, VERY grateful that I am not currently spending this day with the romantic decisions I wanted to make at 16....18....21...24....28....or even 30. I can't say that I look back with any regret, or any discouragement regarding all the things that didn't work out for 'me.' I'm so grateful I can look back with understanding. There are circumstances, and people I wondered (in the moment) how I'd ever get over if it didn't work out, or how I'd ever like anyone more. But today-I'm more single than I've been since I was 17, and I know with all certainty this is exactly where I'm supposed to be right now, because I wasn't supposed to be in any of those other circumstances I tried to squeeze myself into. I don't think I'm supposed to be single forever, but the person I'll someday add to my list of reasons for celebrating love is definitely not the idea that I brought into this world through my own human desires. The closer I've grown to God, the further I've traveled from that image of what I thought I needed. I'm honestly very glad not to have a 'Valentine' (I'm using this term lightly-I have plenty of things I love, but you know what I mean) this year b/c the only Valetine(s) I can think of are memories from the past, and I think I've already covered the whole-I'm glad those plans didn't work out b/c they were mine, and they were messy, and not well thought through (nothing against those old crushes-they were right for other people). Sometimes I forget that I'm perfectly happy where God has me, and I start looking ahead, trying to rush the plan out of frustration. ...but then I look back, say a DEEP, and HEARTFELT thank you to God for intervening on those accounts, and look forward to His plan for the future, knowing its exactly where I should be headed...wherever that is, and enjoying where I'm at-whereever that is. As long as I'm no longer insisting on steering this ship, the sailing should be a little smoother! Jeremiah 29:11

2 comments:

Christine said...

Very well stated!

adrienne said...

i love that line "as long as i'm not steering the ship, it will be smoother sailing." so true. i just found your blog thru under the table dreaming. love all your ideas! the chalkboard spoons and cinnamon rolls on a stick are on my list!! have a great day!